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Car Humor
   Maybe this site was getting a little boring, so I added a little fun to it. The following are Insurance claims, and believe it or not, they are completely real.

-Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn't have.
-The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.
-I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.
-I collided with a stationery truck coming the other way.
-A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
-A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
-The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
-I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment
-In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
-I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
-I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
-I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.
-As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
-To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
-My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
-An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
-I told the police I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found I had a fractured skull
-I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
-I saw a slow-moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car
-The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
-I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some cows.
-"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."
-"A car drove away at speed catching our client who went up in the air and his head went through the windscreen and then rolled off at the traffic lights a good few feet away. The car then sped off and miraculously our client remained conscious and managed to cross the road."
-"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."
-Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident? A: Travelled by bus?
-A Norwich Union customer collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were: Q - What warning was given by you? A - Horn Q - What warning was given by the other party? A - Moo
-"I had one eye on a parked car, another on approaching lorries, and another on the woman behind".
-"I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant togethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard."
-"On the M6 I moved from the centre lane to the fast lane but the other car didn't give way."
-"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke."
-"Three men approached me from the minibus. I thought they were coming to apologise. Two of the men grabbed hold of me by the arms, and the first slapped me several times across the face. I Knee'd the man in the groin, but didn't connect properly, so I kicked him in the shin."
-"I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control."
-"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"
-"I was on my way to see an unconscious patient who had convulsions and was blocked by a tanker."
-"Mr. X is in hospital and says I can use his car and take his wife while he is there. What shall I do about it?"
-"No witnesses would admit having seen the mishap until after it happened."
-"I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk."
-Q: Do you engage in motorcycling, hunting or any other pastimes of a hazardous nature? A: I Watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan.
-"First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis ran into the rear of second car."
-"Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo."
-"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again"
-"We had completed the turn and had just straightened the car when Miss X put her foot down hard and headed for the ladies' loo."